harry potter and the bag of chips
by sammisu
Summary: sequal to harry potter and the bullseye. harry goes to target to get some chips and finds out luna wants to steal some chips. Harry and hermione who is also at target stop her while luna attempts to get laid...


Harry wakes up in his room

Harry wakes up in his room. "I think everyones asleep," says harry in his head, as he walks out of his room. Dudley gets surprised "hey harry, watcha doin?" says Dudley, smiling. "uh just going to get some water" says harry, nervously. Harry walks down to the kitchen, and gets some water. Dudley goes to his room and goes to sleep. Harry puts on his day clothes, and walks outside to the store. He starts to think as he walks "I wonder why dudley is awake this late at night. But I guess I have no permission to think that's bad because I am too. But he doesn't want to buy chips like I do, so he really has no reason like I do." By the time harry is done thinking, he is at the store. He walks right through the door, wich is locked, because the store is closed. He sees the girls, and by the girls I mean luna and Hermione, and yells at them "WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT TARGET THIS LATE AT NIGHT?!" says harry mad. Luna yells back and tells him hes a hippocryte. "you tell us first, you hippocryte." Says luna, with a mad look on her face. "buying some chips." Says harry. "buying chips too." Says Hermione. "stealing some chips" says luna. Harry and Hermione look at her, with surprised looks on there faces. "But why?!" says Hermione, sad. Luna smiles "to expensive to buy." Says Luna. Harry and Hermione get slightly mad "you don't need chips. Its not worth it. You can go to jail." Luna smiles "The stores closed, im not gonna go to jail. Nobody is gonna catch me. I might even be lying, and not telling the truth." Hermione responds happily "You shouldn't be telling people your lying. But it's a relief that you are. Im glad your not steeling chips." Harry laughs "funniest thing ive ever—wait how are we going to get back?! THE STORES CLOSED! This happened last week. I didn't recover from it yet. Its to annoying. Is this gonna happen every week? Im gonna keep getting reasons to go to the store when it is closed, and im gonna always run into you guys, and something is gonna happen to me while I am sleeping in the mattress section!" Harry starts to cry. Hermione taps him on the head. "stop crying. You have no reason to. Its not bad." Harry continues to cry, "no its bad. Very bad." Hermione gets sad "I am so offended. And so is luna-chan. Whats so bad about running into us at target?!" Harry contines to cry "remember what luna did last time we were at target? And you were acting like a bitch!!" Hermione starts to yell at him "What did you just call me?" Harry sighs "Lets not argue again." Hermione yells at him even more. "uh no…. answer my question." Luna gets tired of listening to them argue and walks to the other side of the store. "Luna-chan, there is no porn at target." Luna laughs "Im looking for the chips." Hermione crys "OH NO SHE WAS SERIOUS WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO SHE MIGHT GET ARRESSTED!!" Harry hugs Hermione "whats that for?" harry smiles "to get you to stop yelling. Someone might here you." Hermione walks away, and looks back at him "Nobody is here, stupid. Im going to find luna… and the chip section." Hermione walks to the snack section, and hugs luna "huh?" says luna. And turns around "What is it?" Hermione starts to talk "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SERIOUS, YOU SAID YOU WERE LYING!! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STEALING CHIPS?! OH MY GOSH STOP STEALING CHIPS!! IF YOU WANT CHIPS SO BADLY I CAN LEND YOU SOME MONEY!!" Luna smiles "wow…. I have money. I don't need any." Hermione gets mad "WHAT?! THEN BUY THEM, NOT STEAL THEM!!"

Luna laughs "I said I was stealing them, then I said I was lying, which is true. Im BUYING them, see?" Luna takes the chips, and puts the money in the cash register, well, tries to. "THIS STUPID THING WONT OPEN!!" Luna tugs on the cash register and tries to open it. "But, luckily, I did not forget my wand this time." Says luna as she casts a spell on the cash register to make it open. "See? I BOUGHT the chips." Hermione looks relieved "Phew. Now I can relax. Im gonna go sleep in the mattress section." Hermione goes to the mattress section and lies down on a mattress, so does harry(but of course he sleeps on a different mattress.) Luna sits next to the cash register, bored out of her mind. She starts to think "maybe I should have sex with harry while he is sleeping again? Nah. But im horny so it sucks. Wait… Hermione! That's a perfect idea." Luna goes over to Hermione and kisses her, not intending to wake her up, but she does. Hermione wakes up and blushes, then puts the pillow on her head and goes back to sleep. Luna gets sad and goes back to the cash register. "I guess I will wait till the store opens." Then she eats her chips, and then buys some chocolate milk, then drinks it, then she just sits by the cash register, waiting impatiently for the store to open. Harry wakes up "NO NO OMG BAD NIGHTMARE!!"

Luna smiles in relief. "I thought I was the only one sleepless."

Harry gets sad and starts crying "we were uh…. Sex"

Luna laughs "Did you enjoy it? Am I good in bed?"

Harry gets mad "NO, YOU PERVERT!!" and goes back to sleep.


End file.
